Met a greeneyed reporter
And reporters are an excellent match
Since I am secretly a masked vigilante
“This Cook is a criminal,
A threat to law and order.
We cannot let him declare himself judge
I placed a finger upon her lip.
“Shh,” I said, “let us not speak of such unpleasantness.”
I met her in the arboretum
She was not a reporter and floundering a bit at life
But she liked the wild places and
Thunderous guitar solos
Cernunnos watching in the trees
Saw me shake her hand
And wish her a pleasant evening
But in her wildness she kissed me goodbye.
Met a nice girl from Brooklyn for tacos
I can’t say I liked her accent
But she was nice and enough
And we liked some of the same tv shows.
Julie Newmar walks into my office
Looking for Plush, but he ain’t in
“I need a real man for this one,” she purrs
And soon her hands are bound behind her back
As if it’s Lynda Carter I’m restraining
And under black latex , a crimson handprint’s born
But then Conscience, Destroyer of Worlds
In Kirby colored costume lands his ship
Devouring the indecent potential.
She stuck around and a mistake occurred
And I got icy
And I fled
And I was the one who was scared
Yes, that’s the story.
I am a real man
So I fear only tenderness.
So, the blonde gets off the train and…
Away you ghouls! I’ve a reputation to maintain!
How dare you let me overshare like this!
She is wearing a mask like a peacock
The curvaceous Miss Whomever
“It’s 11:58,” she tells me,
The sultry Miss Whomever
“And we must make the New Year lucky”
There’s a reason that Hopeless is so often found in front of Romantic.